Anyhow, as I sit and spin, my mind settles. I've forgotten the "zone" I get into when I spin. At the same time, I think. When I've done meditation practice and you let your mind settle, the mind's first response then is to fill itself up by thinking about other things. In the Shambhala Training I've received, this is quite normal, until at some point the storylines your mind creates settle too. I find that my challenge right now is that the story lines are quite large and robust. HA!

My meditation practice was a thriving practice before I went back to graduate school. I craved the mental stimulation that reading and writing created. However, that mental stimulation easily takes over the quite mind that I had honed with nearly 8 years of practice on the meditation cushion. Now, my head is busy. Perhaps it is the deadlines and the hoops that are created in school. Regardless of the reason, I'm craving the return to some sort of balance. I'm at a place to consciously take that on and the spinning is beginning to help me sort the strands once again.

I started spinning because it was a powerful image of how I wanted to create one seemless thread in my life. I continue to spin for that very purpose. I'm at a key crossroads with my school and work. I've got to write my dissertation proposal. The question is what do I write it about. The current trajectory is not at all in line with what I do for work now. Some new options are emerging that are more in line, but I have to start my research from the beginning. It is very exciting in many ways. But it is time to continue manifesting the single strand in my life. Hmm. What about plying the strands together. Perhaps that is the place I'm really at. I'm not sure.

Since I haven't written much on this blog in the last couple of months. Here are some highlights from both work and school.

• I did some great interviews of 10 chronic homeless men. The interviews need to be transcribed and the data analyzed and I could have a great publishable paper.
• I wrote a proposal for my nursing class that builds off the work of the interviews with the 10 men, it would be great to submit to somewhere like NIMH, if only I had a PhD now.
• I wrote a big grant for the Department of Labor that built on the chronic homeless interviews. It targets employing homeless veterans. I wrote it for the SWSC. I get very little of the grant support, but that is not the point. We found out last week, we received the $300,000.
• I've done a couple of other grants for work. One of them was for a financial literacy project, the other was for some of the stimulus money. The later would bring a million dollars to the Triangle.
• I completed my specialty comprehensive exam at the end of the month, last month.
• I love what I'm doing with work and school, but need to blend them together more.
• HUD just released its dissertation grant request for proposal which is due on August 7, I'm going for the money. HA!

So you see, I have a lot going on in my head and so many possibilities and so many strands. It is time to spin them into one thread again.

Here is the roving.

And here is what I've accomplished by mid day Day 2 of the Tour De Fleece

The reason I've been reflecting about this is because it relates to the work I did last month that focused on a proposal for one of my classes that was based on some actual interviews I was doing with chronic homeless men. I've been interviewing some of the ment who were part of a chronic homeless employment initiative. The interviews have been absolutely fascinating and I've gathered lots of great data. I've also written a proposal to interview 20-30 more chronic homeless men about their experiences in seeking employment. I only submitted it for a grade and got a 97% mind you. Not bad eh? Anyhow, it was a really great research proposal.

So, why am I reflecting? Well, I finished up all of my coursework. No more time in the classroom for this PhD. However, I've been thinking about this blog, and the purpose of spinning the threads together. Over the years, I have worked hard to spin together the magical and the mundane, and that is lifelong work. However, I'm finding it is time to really spin the threads together of the academic and professional lives.

I love working in a human service agency. I love doing research. I love qualitative research. I love writing the proposals and then writing about the results. I love connecting with clients. I love supporting human service agency staff. It is time to begin to manifest my next work. It is time for me to create the magical intent of weaving the parts together. That said, it is imperative that I finish the actual dissertation. Now that coursework is done, the temptation will be to rest a bit. However, I can't. That doesn't mean that I can't be smart about how I do this next layer of work. So I'm reflecting on what is the project that would bridge both my current professional work with my academic interests? That is a big question and important for me to answer in the next few weeks.

Anyhow, I was talking with friends last night and I was telling them that I have three dissertations in my head/body. That's interesting. All I need is one. What is good about that is that I have choices. It also is about beginning the process of manifesting my new work. I have to develop a body of research that I work on, and the beauty of where I am right now suggests that I have multiple ideas and opportunities. The paper I'm going to hand in, I hope to turn into a small research grant to the National Institute of Mental Health. I think it is a possibility.

All of this makes me think about writing and the importance of trying to do it every day. Now, if you look at my blog. Well, one can see that I haven't been able to do that here. However, I'm not sure blogging is the place for the academic, thought writing that I need to do. I don't know though perhaps it is. Anyhow, I'm not talking about journal writing either.

I've been thinking over the weekend. How does my writing become a daily practice? A practice that has both joyful moments and moments where it is just work. I'm not sure.

Just some jumbled thoughts for the day.

Email #1

Hello Team,

Our green broom has been swept away and we can’t find it!

It has a skinny gray handle and green bristles.

Anyone seen it?

Reply to Email #1 from coworker who doesn't know about my own spiritual leanings (only one person on staff where I work does).

Ifound it... I saw Stan Holt fly by a few minutes ago over the Capitol Building when I was exiting from daytime mass at Cathedral down the block....

Email #1 Response

Thanks, we saw the same thing when someone passed through the silhouette of the moon on it the other night (we weren’t sure who it was though). However, we still haven’t been able to locate it since!

Reply to Email #1 Response

Maybe Stan Holt on the skinny gray green bristled broom is like Elvis... I've seen him hundreds of times .. He's all over the place. ..Or Stan Holt on the skinny gray green bristled broom is like the Gnome that's been photographed on his trips around the world 10 times ... around the Hornfive times and to two county fairs.. I can see it now, a  legend in the making: "Oh Stan.. with that legendary skinny gray green bristled broom... cleaning up after us all...I've seen him.. .. He's all over the place."