Sitting with failure

Well, I've chatted with a couple of you already. But for those of you who don't know, I failed 2 of the four comprehensive exams, conditionally passed one, and only passed one. Well, that's a first. I've never failed an exam before. I've had failure in my life, ie., closing a child care center because we were not able to sustain it financially, and I've had worse news given to me in my life about my own life. I had actually written to the Chair of the PhD program three weeks ago, sharing with him the challenges of the exam along with suggestions as to how it might be altered to be a more valid measure of the information taught in the core Public Administration classes. I keep going through my head about what I could have done differently, and I can't think of anything. All I know is that when I walked out of the exam room, I knew that the exam did not test what I knew and how I knew it. It just plain "didn't work for me." That was confirmed this week.

I'm meeting with folks this coming week to create a plan of action. I already feel better about it all and quite frankly I'm OK with it. I go back to the question I asked after my trip to San Francisco. Am I doing the right thing with my life in the right place?? Stay tuned.

Comments

[Lizard]

Academia truly is a bizarre and ungainly place. My experience from the administrative/teaching side of it is that systems are far from polished (much less perfect), course of study objectives often aren't written well or followed, and testing can be capricious.

So I have questions on two levels for you:

-Will they give you feedback on your tests?

-Can you kick some collective ass in the Department and get the Comps to come into alignment with what's being taught?

Second, and more importantly:

-Are you learning useful things in the program?

-Are you accomplishing work that you wouldn't do without an academic structure to hold you accountable?

-As you think about right place and right path, are there things you want to accomplish that require a PhD or would go more smoothly if you had one?

Love,
Lizard